Planning for the future is for real men with real goals. As for you, your only aspirations should revolve around how much you're going to provide for Me. How deep do those pockets go? 401ks, savings accounts, even an HSA is eating into what is rightfully mine, so start hemorrhaging cash in My direction instead. We all know you have no life outside of Me. No real upward mobility in any category actually, pretending otherwise is idiotic. Let go of preparing for a future that won't ever happen so you can give in to what's right in front of you :)