You've been locked in the basement for being a very bad mutt. You still seem to be under the impression that you're a human being! Silly boy. You're my puppy boy. My pet. You need to act accordingly. A good puppy makes efforts to please his Mistress and make her happy. So as I've been training you, I've left you in a cold, damp cage to come to terms with your new position. Once you can obey and perform tricks for me, when you're a *good* boy, I'll slip this lovely little collar around your neck and will bring you upstairs with me. Wouldn't you love to rest on the end of my bed? Of course you would. So show me that you can be a good pup...