It’s no secret that I prefer gooners and edgeslaves to you prejac failures. I really hardly have any use for you. You don’t last long enough for me to have any fun with you. You can’t make it through the first few minutes of any clips. Don’t even get me started on how pointless it would be trying to have sex with you. I wish I could empathize with you but, frankly, I think you’re just not trying hard enough.  But I know I’m not alone. Because, you hate that you do this too, don’t you? You wish that you could ride that edge for me and be one of my good gooner boys. Well today’s your lucky day. I’ve decided that I’m in the mood to do some charity work so I’m going to help you out. I’m going to teach you how to edge and cure your little premature problem at the same time. But in order for this to work, I’m gonna need you to do something a little uncomfortable. You’ll do it for me though, right premie? Right.