I used to rub my bald pussy, like all my girlfriends, on porn on my phone. One day my grandmother caught me doing it. She didn't smash the phone and punish me, but explained that in the days of her youth she used to jerk off to magazines with naked men. "There are much bigger pictures and you can see the dicks better," she explained, crunching a carrot. Then she pulled a well-preserved, rare May 1988 issue of Playgirl out of her trunk and gave it to me. Now I'm rubbing on Clint Eastwood's dick, whose dick fell off a long time ago.