Most people are seeking out pleasure on Valentine’s Day. Not you because let’s be honest, you’re a freak of nature. You’re seeking out pain on Valentine’s Day because it’s the only way you feel pleasure. In your fucked up mind pain is pleasure. Going out to enjoy a nice, romantic dinner is the last thing on your mind on Valentine’s Day. You would rather spend your evening following my instructions and completely destroying those extremely sensitive balls for me. Since you are such a pain junkie, I thought of a fun little game we can play together this Valentine’s Day. What you will need is a deck of cards, a few rubber bands, a wooden spatula, a meat tenderizer or mallet, clothes pins, and a thick book The rules of the game are very simple, if I pull a black card out of the deck, you get to stroke. If I pull a red card out of the deck, you have to destroy your balls exactly how I instruct you. The anticipation is going to make this so much hotter wondering what the next card I am going to pull is going to be.