Today I witnessed the most horrific and hilarious thing I've had the disgust of seeing in My entire life, your penis. I know we're roommates and all, but coming out of the shower without a towel revealed the true nature of you as a human being. Your dick size is directly correlated to your value. Therefore, you have no value since you have, essentially, no dick. I enjoy lording that fact over you and laughing maniacally while you shrivel, pardon the pun, into a puddle of shame and humiliation.
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