Here is the deal:
I have known you for a while.. and the thoughts of you wanting to hook up with a man have been spiraling out of control.. You keep coming to me and saying things such as “My wife isn’t attracted to me” 

the truth is though: YOU are attracted to the same sex! You crave sharing your body parts with another MAN.. I knew this from the get go of meeting you… I love gay, you love gay.. and today is the day where you actually live your life as a gay man!

Suck it up.. because at the end.. you will be giving yourself a FACIAL (the first of THOUSANDS) I know you’ll NEVER forget… so…ENJOY!