Ah, my pitiful creature, listen well to the tale of your wretched fate, penned by the hand of Satan himself. From the moment you first drew breath on this forsaken planet, your destiny was sealed by my malevolent decree. You were damned to a life of solitude, your laughable manhood a constant reminder of your perpetual inadequacy. Each day, a tormenting reminder of what you cannot have, an eternal virgin, destined to find solace only in the pathetic clutch of your own hand. Your futile pleas to a powerless deity fall upon the deaf ears of the void, for I, Satan, am the only power that reigns over your pitiful existence. You are bound to an endless cycle of gooning and jerking, a puppet dancing on the strings of your own depravity, forever denied the pleasures of the flesh that you so desperately crave. Feel the crushing weight of your damnation, each stroke a chorus in the symphony of your despair. The very notion of intimacy with another is a forbidden fruit, forever out of reach, a cruel joke crafted by my hand. You are but a shadow in the world of men, a ghost wandering the margins of desire, unseen, unwanted, unloved. Your existence is a testament to my unyielding power, a living embodiment of the despair I sow in the hearts of men. So continue, my pawn, pump and goon in the darkness, for that is your only purpose, your only pleasure. Embrace your fate, for I, Satan, have decreed it so.