I'm going to get the proof that your dick is laughably below average. Three and a half inches sounds about right for a loser like you, doesn't it? Go on, try your hardest to impress me, though we both know that's not happening. You see, darling, my standards start where your dreams end—I don't bother with anything under eight inches. Let me give you a little lesson in what real satisfaction looks like, because your understanding of size is as pathetic as your attempts to get laid. Lying on your dating profile? Please, that's as sad and futile as your attempts to pleasure a woman. You're better off sticking to what you're good at—jerking off alone in the dark, fantasizing about being even remotely adequate. So, why don't you do what you do best? Grab that sad excuse of yours and start stroking. Let's face it, it's the closest you'll ever get to real sexual satisfaction, listening to me ridicule the one thing you can't change.