Going back to the roots and remembering how step-mother was the first one that caused this addiction- you were so young, watching her smoking cigarette after cigarette, having it pressed between her lips, dragging from it with pleasure, as afterwards she blew the smoke straight into your direction at times even unintentional, at times intentional... you eremember all of that now and it still gives you shivers and chills, but you came to understand why you are so attracted to the smokers, why the are the only ones that turn you on. That's your life burden, but you carry it with so much pleasure, delight, enthusiasm and pleasure, smoke slave!