We happen to meet in the woods one day and there is a big mud pit between us. I notice you checking out my boots and decide to take advantage of your little boot obsession: I tell you to be a human bridge and lay down across the mud so I can walk across. I don't want my wellies getting muddy! You do it of course and that's when we learn it's not really mud. It's quicksand! Your whole body is sinking and instead of helping you, I tease and torment you with my muddy boots. It's your fault they got muddy anyways! Lick them clean as you sink. If you do a good job, I might just save you. I might just step on your face and push you under too. You'll see!