You want to play with your ass, to reach that hands-free climax as if proving you could would elevate you from the depths of your own mediocrity. Well, let's indulge in this work. First, get that water-based lube, not that you'll ever be slick enough to slide out of the humiliation I'm about to drench you in. And that HUGE suction cup dildo? Watch those clips, your favorite gay scenes, and keep an eye on me as I dictate your downfall. Pump and massage that massive toy with your slutty little hole, pretending it's a task you're actually competent at. Take hit after hit from that bottle, maybe it'll numb the sting of reality, how you're sinking deeper into a fantasy because your actual sex life is as barren as your worth.