Perfect talking to you is actually on my to-do list. I can’t believe we’re having this conversation again. Your work ethic absolutely sucks and everyone at work is noticing that I’m giving you special treatment because you’re my son. I have warned you time and time again that if you don’t straighten up, something is going to change and today’s that day. I am fed up with you. Your sister works for me and she’s doing wonderful. If you would put in just half the energy that she does, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now. But you’ve proved to me that you are completely useless and you have made me to do this. I shrink you right down out of your clothes and poke you with my toe, making fun of how tiny you are. You’re such a loser, you’re even more useless now. I’m not sure what to do with you. I can’t put you in my bra. I don’t want anyone to see you and you’ve been too nosy lately. It’s annoying. I know I’ll use a seat cushion and you know I have a fat ass. I taunt you with my ass when will I sit on you?? I laugh over and over at you my you sweat. I proceed to sit on you while I make phone calls and work. Eventually, I decide to stick you in my underwear because you keep trying to crawl out from under my ass. You better make yourself at home down there. You’re going to be there a long time and maybe you can learn a thing or two about what it means to work.