You walked in on Me sitting in the break room with My massive belly out. You couldn’t just turn around and mind your own business though. You had to ask questions. It’s really rude of you to point out My bloated exposed belly and ask what I had for lunch. I refuse to indulge your curiosity until you mention bringing this up to the boss. Fine! I’ll tell you everything. Only after you lock the break room door and make sure no one can hear what I say. It might be shocking to learn that I’ve been slowly eating people around the office. There hasn’t been a mass layoff. I just take them out to lunch! Today I went with the secretary. Don’t worry, it was obvious you had a crush on her but it’s not like she was good at her job away. Same could be said for you. What? You didn’t think I’d tell you My secret then allow you to blab it to the entire office, did you? I have no choice but to eat you too now! This will be the first time I’ve eaten two people in one day at work but after a few burps I am confident I can squeeze you in. I wasn’t prepared for the fart fuel you two would become and soon after I gulp you down I am burping and farting uncontrollably. Thankfully My cubicle is in a secluded corner of the office because I am starting to cause quite a stink! I’m left with no choice but to sit in My panties and rub My aching and stuffed stomach. I’m desperate to pass this gas and squirm into different positions to let it out. Finally, I release a particularly loud, long fart that gives Me instant relief. I think I can actually get some work done after that! You two better behave for the rest of the day and quietly digest. I have work to do!