I want you to know how useless you are. I'd never fake an orgasm just to sooth your ego and as a matter of fact, the more I laugh at you, ignore you and show you how bored I am, the harder you're going to try. Which just amuses me all the more because we both know you'll never make me cum. I love how you look so hurt and frustrated when I ask "Is it even in yet", hahaha! I'll encourage you to go faster and get on with it while I'm ignoring you and get some shopping done on my phone and when you've yukked your messy load, a bit of pillow talk and a cuddle will gently remind you that just about everything else is more interesting to me than fucking you. But it's okay because you're so lucky to be dating someone out-of-your-league and what I can't get rom you in the bedroom, I will get from your wallet instead.