Nice to see you again! I hear we didn't have to reschedule you once? I hope that means that last's years visit wasn't as bad as you expected? Great, let's get started with today's then shall we? The tone is much more relaxed, I'm glad to see you at ease. It allows me to move through your exam a little more swiftly. Any changes to your health, or concerns? Ha! No, you're right... That's just a normal part of aging. I start with having a listen to your heart and lungs, I slip the bell of my steth (which, full disclosure, I put on backwards without realizing) under your patient gown. Next I take your BP and move on your eyes, and ears... Everything looks good to me. I gently feel the lymph nodes in your neck. No discomfort, right? Ok. Let's move on to reflexes... Good. Alright, next I'm going to have you hop up on the table and have you expose your chest to me. Mhmm and lay down. Thank you. I look over your chest touching you with my gloved hands. I look for unusual moles and and apply pressure in a few spots - your sides, underarms... Yeah that's tickle-y, and your abdomen, then I check percussions. I think you know what's next, it's time to check your prostate. Would you prefer to bend over, or are you good laying down? Before I begin I change into a new pair of gloves, then I lubricate my fingers. You may remember - I'll have you take deep breaths in, and out and as you exhale I'll insert a finger into your rectum. There. You okay? As I begin to move my finger, feeling for any swelling or abnormalities, you immediately and unexpectedly ejaculate. Don't worry, it happens. I make no big deal of it, remaining entirely professional. We'll get that cleaned up when we're all done. I retract my finger, assure you that everything is fine. That may have happened as a result of being relaxed and more comfortable than you were last year. Unless you have cause to revisit - I'll see you again next year.
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