I had fun on our date tonight, but I must've ate something that's not sitting right with me. I feel so bloated and gassy. I know we've been dating a little while now, but I've never farted in front of you before and I just can't hold them back anymore. It's painful to hold them in and farting just feels so good, so I just need to let it out no matter how embarrassing it is. Turns out I don't just have to fart, as soon as I think I've almost released all of the gas inside of my big belly, I get into a burping fit. I'm just your fat, gassy, girlfriend apparently.