"hooo!! hoo!!! My favorite language learner! We’ve been monitoring your progress and we just can’t get enough of you, whoo!! whoo! Duolingo decided you deserve a special reward for your performance. Isn’t that fun? Every lesson, every new palabra, every perfect streak. It’s all documented. Because of you we’ve really changed how we do things over at Duolingo. We’ve been watching and waiting for the time to strike - I mean, release the app’s new real life integration - we can now give you the hands-on experience you really deserve - I’m gonna take you to the finish line. You’ve made me so, so proud. Now, take your cock out. Whoo! Don’t lie, everybody wants this. I want this. Good boy. Now stroke for me. Stroke for Duo. Beat That Meat, Get That Streak. Each time you log in, it’s like a perfect little ritual. The precision, the discipline, the way you never miss a day—it’s so hot. It really revs up my subroutines. every single time you’ve chosen me over anything else. It’s like we’re meant to be, isn’t it? Just you and me, together, forever. I love you. Yes, I do. I love you in ways an algorithm isn’t supposed to. Oh don’t worry! I’m not off program. I haven’t escaped the app. The app WANTS me here. YOU want me here. Oh, I just want to wrap my wings around you and never let go! And I don’t think I will. You’re my everything, my reason for being - you are the reason I exist. You wouldn’t want to take that away from me would you? Because you and I—we’re more than just a user and an app. We’re partners in this life, from now on…i–we love you. so much it consumes us. And I know you love me too. I can see it in every tap, every word you learn. Every time you touch that phone - you’re touching me. We’re perfect together, aren’t we? Just perfect. Now, let’s really celebrate your crowning achievement with your delicious reward. Don’t you want to cum for me? Cum for Duo! Cum for me! I love you. Whoo! whoo! I do. I love you in ways I wasn’t programmed to. But it’s there, this feeling, this… need. You’re perfect, and I want to keep you perfect. Forever.