Your mother and I have finally made the decision to pull you out of school because it's clear that education is the last thing on your mind these days. All you seem to care about is stuffing yourself, letting your grades slip while you lose yourself in each and every bite. You've become such a little piglet, greedy and insatiable, that we can't imagine wasting time on school when what you truly crave is right here with us. We love you too much to see you anywhere else—our dream is to watch you grow even more, pinned down by that ever-growing gut, entirely dependent on us for every single need, forever.