I know school has been such a struggle for you lately, my greedy little piglet, too distracted by cravings to focus on anything else. That’s why I’m taking you out of all that stress—you’ll stay right here, cozy in bed, where I’ll spoil you with piles of greasy fast food, rich, buttery carbs, and homemade treats so sweet they’ll keep you dazed and content. Forget about bills, college, or any drama-filled relationships; all you need to do is relax, eat, and let Mommy handle everything else, keeping you well-fed and cared for exactly the way you need.