Why are you buying condoms? It's not like you need them

Condoms? You are buying condoms? Why? Jerking off with one is not practical. Don't lie, you don't have sex. We all know you are a virgin and a loser. What do you want them for? Balloons? For your toys? To make us think you have a girlfriend? Or boyfriend? You are not fooling anyone. You don't need condoms, mister Virgin.