What!? You don't recognize me? I'm your Elf On A Shelf, silly. I've been watching you your whole life. And you've been very good. Too good, in fact. I just got a little excited watching you and thought I'd pay you a visit. I wanted you to know how proud I am of you. I was thinking I might also show you my appreciation by sucking your cock. Did you ever think that your Elf On A Shelf would come to life and suck you off? Well tonight's your lucky night!