You seriously broke into the wrong house. Did it hurt when I whacked you in the back of the head with my cast iron? Yeah I bet. Now you’re all chained up and gagged. Funny thing is I bet you didn’t tell anyone that you’d be here since you were trying to rob me. Guess what that means? No one is coming looking for you. That’s right, you’re all alone with me. Honestly it’s a good thing you’re here. I’ve needed some motivation to keep on with my holiday cooking. I’ve just been getting so gassy tasting all those dishes and it’s made my house stink so much. But now that’s you’re here, you’re going to smell all the farts for me. Oh you think I’m crazy? Bless you’re heart, I’m certifiably insane and you choose to me by play thing when you broke in. Now brace yourself, it’s gonna get nasty.