If you’re still a virgin at this stage of your life, then I imagine you’ve probably come to terms with your everlasting virginity. Or at least, I hope you have anyway. I mean, surely you’re not actually deluded enough to think that anything is going to change, right? Hopefully you’re self aware enough to realise that you are quite simply, unfuckable. If you’re still blinded by hope or you’ve not yet figured out that your virginity is clearly going to be a permanent part of your life, then I’ll make sure you’re well aware of the harsh realities of your sexless, beta existence by the time I’ve finished. In fact, you’ll be so brutally aware of the reality of your situation, that you’ll make an unbreakable pledge to me. You’ll finally come to terms with who you really are and the prospects of your future and you’ll make a lifelong, permanent pledge to Goddess Holly, that greatly benefits all women and yourself and frees you from a lifetime of disappointment. This is The Virgin Pledge.