It’s been such a long deployment you've been gone for almost a year defending freedom and the American dream. I open the front door and find you standing there, full sea bag over my shoulder and wearing my dress blue uniform (you know as cracker jacks) “You’re home! I didn’t know your ship was back, I missed you so much! I’ve been waiting patiently for my hung sailor for months. Damn, I always love seeing you in uniform with all your medals”. Watch your gorgeous wife service her "service member". Ends in a huge facial. "I bet your shipmates aren’t getting this lucky tonight. Maybe you should take a picture of me covered in your 'seaman' for your next deployment”.