You're such a weird housemate. Always staring at me, you're so weird and obsessed with me. I'm just sat here playing on my phone and you have a hard on in your pants. In fact, get it out and jerk it for me, and I'll tell you how to do it. You're so pathetic and funny, I'm gonna snapchat it and send the video to my friends. God, you are SUCH a loser!
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