Your haughty upper class Mummy saw you last night, sneaking downstairs. I know you saw me kissing that man dressed as Santa Claus. It wasn't your father, who is incapable of pleasuring me. It was our neighbour. And I also know that it turned you on. That you jerked off to it. So Mummy has decided that we both have little secrets that we need to keep; Mummy won't tell anyone that you jerk off over her - over her breasts, if you don't tell daddy about her secret lover. Okay, darling?