Happy Birthday to me! As part of my Birthday Bash celebration, I decided to tape my very first naked baking video, so here it is! It was so much fun to be myself in front of the camera. If you’ve spent any time chatting with me you know I’m a notoriously bad cook… But, it seems, baking is not the same as cooking! First thing’s first: strip the clothes! Second thing second: gather the ingredients! I comment on the gooey, cold raw eggs while separating the yolks for the batter, nearly cover myself in a cup of water, giggle over my motor-mouth and bounce around to get what I need. After I put it in the oven, I have to go through the coordination challenge of flipping it out of the pan. Some expletives were involved throughout the entire baking process. After becoming immediately bored of decorating the cake with a spatula, I decide to use my fingers instead. The whole reason I’m baking this cake is so I can smash it with my fat ass, anyway, so it’s like a little wet-and-messy foreplay. I make some amateur-as-fuck purple frosting to write “HAPPY BDAY FOF” on the cake in obnoxiously crooked lettering, lick my fingers clean, and then rub some on my nipples and try to lick them clean. Do you think I can lick my own nipples with these perky tiny B’s? You’ll have to watch to find out!