The closest thing to sex you've ever experienced is humping your right hand. Isn't that right little virgin boy? Why even try and get laid when you have a beautiful Goddess ready to FUCK your wallet?! Dates are expensive, girlfriends are expensive, and wives are expensive. It's not worth it. Sex is boring, getting wallet-fucked on the other hand will always keep you on edge. No Woman deserves it more than I do, so just accept your fate as My VIRGIN WALLET FOREVER. Life will be so much better once you accept what you truly are.