Oh god. I was hoping this day would never come. But here we are. For some reason you mustered up the courage to ask me out on a date. Ugh. Why did you do this? I don ’t want to go on a date with you. I don ’t like you. Wait …did you bring me a rose? That ’s cute ….but it still doesn ’t change things. You should have looked in the mirror and known I ’d say no. I mean there ’s a reason I friend -zoned you. Why did you have to ruin what we had going? You ruined your chance at being my friend. You ’re such a fucking dumbass. Idiot. You ’re wondering why I ’m being mean to you now? I ’m offended that you would ask me out. In what world would I have said yes to you? Look at you! You ’re a fucking LOSER. You were my friend so I never told you , but we aren ’t friends now. Nope. I was only your friend because I felt sorry for you ….as a form of charity. But you had to fuck that up. I ’m so glad I don ’t have to pretend any more though. What should I do with you now? What will you do to stay in my presence? I bet you ’d do anything to stay in my life. Every week you ’re going to come over to clean my apartment dressed like a sissy maid in heels. You ’ll be doing everything …including taking out my bathroom trash which is full of used condoms. Demoted to be my sissy bitch house cleaner. That ’s what you get for asking me out. Oh and I ’m going to take pictures of you. If you don ’t clean to my standards I ’ll upload them to my Instagram and Twitter and tag you. Ha!