Today is your lucky day. I’m affording you an extremely intimate opportunity. With the purchase of this clip, you’ve earned yourself access to my real phone number. Now, there are rules that come with this precious gift. But if you follow my rules exactly, you’ll have an opportunity that few slaves have ever had. I know you want to be able to foster this relationship. I know you want to be able to receive personal glimpses into my life. Can you afford it? The price is steep, but the reward is sweet.