You're so utterly worthless. Everything about our relationship is a disappointment. You have no skills, you're absolutely terrible at sex, and you're incompetent in every way I can think of! If you want to stay in my life, I need to find a use for you. I thought at first, that you might make a good pet, but then I realized that you're far too stupid for that! You can't protect me and lack any sort of emotional intellegence that a mutt would naturally have to please their master. So I guess you'll need to be an object for me. That's right, some days I'll make you a rug. Other days a coat rack. Maybe even one day, I'll decide you're a fucking toilet. That's all you're good for. You're no man! You're my little objectified furniture bitch...