So, umm, uhhh, my cat was off of a leash while walking through the neighborhood. And my cat bullies Sadie Holmes’s cat, so she came over to make a citizen’s arrest. But when she does, she realizes that I am the real bully. So I beat her up with scissorholds, punches to her silly little belly, and then I sit on her stupid Karen face. She can’t make a citizen’s arrest if all of her screams are muffled under my butt! After this, I start to give her the real punishment. Which is an expulsion of beautiful odors from the Mexican food I had last night out of my butt. Directly into her mouth. Sometimes I pinched her nose and made her eat the musical toots. Then, I drag her by the hair upstairs to the toilet and proceed to give her swirlies. I toot on her head in the toilet. That’ll teach her to mess with my cat!